Flexibility – Your Key to Influence
In the last post I talked about the value of listening, (attentiveness) to learn all you can about your client, prospect orpotential employer. The value of “doing your homework” cannot be underestimated.
While that can be an important first step, in order to influence you must perform the next step. That is, to practice flexibility.
Doing It the Win/Win Way
Suppose you’re a commercial photographer and want to reach graphic designers to hire you . Since they are visually-oriented – use words like “view” , “see” , “picture”, “visualize” – all words that appeal to the very keen eye of the graphic designer.
Another example: Suppose you are trying to appeal to financial executives, CFO’s, or accountants. They might not be so interested in “visions of the future” “but they will relate to words like “smart money” or “return on investment” or “yield”.
To appeal to “helping” professionals – if you want to reach doctors, nurses, therapists, counselors and others – use words like “heal” “health” “nurture” “thrive” “help” .
And you will find that when you do use these words, your readers/prospects will have the reaction “she speaks my language”, “he understands me”,“ we’re on the same page”.
That’s because “like likes like” – people feel heard and understood when they hear familiar words.
Here, a visitor at the Guggenheim Museum in New York is drawn to a painting which echoes her outfit
Once you learn the “language” of the person you want to influence, you can then plug in the power tool of flexibility. To be an effective influencer, you will need to practice this flexibility and speak to others in their familiar vocabulary.
This does not mean that you need to change the substance of your message; only the style.
Your Formula for Success
In short, the real key to successful influencing is the simple formula:
INFLUENCE = ATTENTIVENESS (listening/observing) + FLEXIBILITY (using the “language” of the other)
Be attentive to what someone is telling you – listen, observe, learn – and then become flexible enough to use this information in your communication.
The result? You will be a more effective influencer, and will have a set of your own Portable Power Tools to enhance
your success.
